Equal footing, very interesting that of all subjects you chose to write about that. It is, of course something we are always exploring with our horses, partnership vs. leadership and then trying to find the balance in there to be equal. But also recently an ongoing discussion between Nate and I looking at our efforts in the Navy to "build partnerships" with African countries when the balance of power is so unequal. So often what is called "partnerships" in the Navy is really a bid for control, to be the alpha while trying to make someone else feel equal. Equality and partnership cannot exist in such imbalance and in the end nothing is really gained for anyone.
I think again about how my interpretation of alpha has evolved- I do not want my horse to fear me and to follow my lead out of fear, I do not want to dominate my horses. I do want to have enough communication to hold their respect when I need it for my safety or theirs, but to communicate to them that I respect what they can teach me equally. My understanding of alpha is more now about having the skills and communication to lead when I need to, and to be able to allow them to lead at times to better teach me. Through balance, the constant shifting of alpha as a means of teaching and learning between us, we become more than if either of us leads always.
I find that also in our marriage, there are times when each of us has better skills to be the lead, and together sharing the lead, learning from each other, we find equal footing in the balance and a greater power together to reach our goals. So I think that yes, there is always a need to shift power, but how we choose to pursue it and use it makes all the difference in the world. I think without that dynamic of changing leadership in a relationship we would not teach or learn very much at all. Two complete equals are in balance, but it is a static, stagnant state.