December 5, 2006

Being a Funny Uncle

Hi, my name is Ben Wegman and I'm one of the dancers involved with the process of creating Peter DiMuro's new work, Gumdrops and Funny Uncles. Since this is my first entry, I thought I'd throw a little background info. out to you all. I went to Point Park University with a concentration in modern and jazz and have been very fortunate in my career thus far to work with some really amazing people. I was first introduced to the Dance Exchange through Peter and his work, when he did a choreographic project at Point Park, and have since had extreme interest in the Dance Exchange's work and process.

The opportunity to write about this work in progress has been available for awhile and for many reasons it has taken me over a month to begin to dialogue and articulate my experiences. What is a funny uncle? I'm not quite sure yet. We've verbalized a funny uncle as an outsider, but it's so much more than that. It's perhaps loving those who can't love you back; it's always being slightly removed from the spotlight, being second banana - never first. It's a role that
many have felt at certain points in our life, whether we like to admit it or not. I've had many in depth discussions with the other dancers and we have agreed time and again how incredibly painful and personal the topic of family and the funny uncle can be for some to discuss. Indeed many of us spend our whole lives running from our genetic ties. Perhaps for myself, one of my inabilities to blog this process thus far, has been the harsh reality that this work has made me realize how incredibly alone I often feel in the world. For many years I have had a strained relationship with my own family due to issues of sexual preference and defining myself as an adult. Because of this and perhaps because of the simple realities of how hard it can be at times to be an artist, I feel as if I have relied on myself and myself alone for many years now. As time passes, I have realized how often I have thrust this idea of family upon relationships I have had, only to pull back when my desire became a reality. The irony of "family" is that I long for this sense of security while fearing the vulnerability and pain that can often be associated with it. As the holidays quickly approach it once again becomes evident how much I want to create this idea of family for myself, how essential this is for my life. Perhaps what I have been struggling with, in many ways, is my own inability to admit that I, too, am a funny uncle.

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