Free Falling
Family faces are magic mirrors.
Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future.
~Gail Lumet Buckley
I agonized about whether or not to publish these notes.
And that is because I feel exposed. That my thoughts are being revealed. Vulnerabilities and confusion revealed - albeit a simple version that basically serves as the starting point for what I
really think. And for how deeply I really feel. For three days, I kept going back and forth: Publish it. Forget it, it's too confusing. It can all change. And then what would be the point of that? Publish it. You're sharing the 'process'. Don't publish. The 'process' should be writing this post! Back and forth, back and forth.....
I was "spinning" (as we say in Trinidad).
Recent personal events left me in need of some TLC and I returned to New York for a short visit. While from the start of the creation of
'Fresh Water' I've been thinking about family, lately I've been thinking about the breaking of cycles. And legacy. About how to hold on to your grandmother's strength while ridding yourself of your grandfather's ignorant ways. Of how to balance the presence of gender violence, drug and alcohol addiction, and destructive anger in a history that is also filled with woman power, limitless talent, invaluable knowledge, and beautiful love stories. And how to let go of it all and.....free fall.
It was during a recent Trinidad-to-New York Skype chat that 'Fresh Water' collaborator
Elspeth Duncan commented that the 'old' Fresh Water brought forth images of the sea. "The sea doesn't allow you to see your reflection," she wrote. "The new Fresh Water," she continued, "seems very small. Like a pond."
She then asked me whether or not I had posted the notes.
"No. But I will."
She sent me
this link to the PostSecret blog.
"It must freeing to publish your secrets," she wrote. "Maybe you emerge from the sea to look at yourself in the stillness of the pond."
So I published the notes.
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Posted by
Makeda Thomas on January 6, 2008 12:58 PM
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really nice post makeda i love the drawings, makes me think of how you must use images to choreograph movement...